Wanna bet?

OK, a little off the wall, but what can I say?

There are certain things I miss from El Norte, like fast internet and good pizza, but I know that it is a trade off. There are those who may never have had a real tortilla or tasted what chicken really tastes like, not that cardboard stuff you get in the stores or restaurants. As I say, it's a trade off.

I can get crunchy peanut butter here. Yes, it is hard to find, but someone turned me on to a source, expensive, but someplace that always has it. Now for something to spread it on. Polly want a cracker?

Fergitaboutit.

Let me digress... there is a movie, I know, I know, there is always a movie with me, but there is a movie, Four Rooms, with Tim Roth playing Ted, the bellhop in a hotel on the decline. As always, he is great. There are lots of stars in the film (Hayek, Banderas, Willis, Madonna) and lots of directors (Rodriguez, Tarantino), one for each vignette. It is a fun flick.

At any rate, the last room in the movie is inhabited by people involved in a bet. The bet is a reenactment from an Alfred Hitchcock Presents called "The man from the south". The bet is that a guy can light his trusty lighter ten times in a row. If he does it, he wins a car. If he doesn't, his finger gets chopped off.

And that's the premise for this bet. Mine involves breaking bread, I mean, crackers.

I would bet that no one can break a Mexican saltine into neat squares, along those nice perforations they divide the cracker into. Given ten large saltines, I would bet that not one could be broken apart the way they are supposed to. Believe me, I have tried and tried. The things will just not break into nice, neat little normal crackers. Those perforations are just for show. They never break on those lines. Nothing but jagged pieces upon which to spread the PB. And you thought you had problems?

So I will put up the car and you can bring the saltines of your choice, but they must be bought locally. But not to worry, no finger chopping is involved. A truckload of crackers will suffice.

UPDATE: Hmmm... I think the bet is off only because the next batch of crackers... of course, broke right where they were supposed to, but I swear, this a first. Need more testing and more PB.